5 Things You Should Never Put in Writing at Work

The Email That Ended a Career

A frustrated employee sends an email:

"This client is impossible. I can't believe we're bending over backwards for someone who pays us practically nothing. Honestly, I hope they take their business elsewhere."

Two problems:

They accidentally CC'd the client
Even if they hadn't, it's now in writing forever

Screenshots get shared. Emails get forwarded. Slack messages get subpoenaed.

Some things should NEVER be in writing.

Thing #1: Anything You Wouldn't Want on the News

The Rule: Would You Be OK If This Showed Up in a News Article?

If not, don't write it.

Examples of what NOT to write:

❌ "Let's find a loophole around this regulation" ❌ "Don't tell [department] about this issue" ❌ "I know this technically violates policy but..." ❌ "Delete this email after reading"

Why:

Written communication is discoverable in lawsuits
Can be subpoenaed
Can be leaked or hacked
Lives forever

Better: Discuss sensitive topics in person or via phone call.

Thing #2: Criticism of Colleagues or Leadership

Never Write Negative Things About People You Work With

❌ "Sarah is so incompetent at her job" ❌ "Management has no idea what they're doing" ❌ "I can't believe they promoted him over me" ❌ "This team is a disaster"

Why this will destroy your career:

It WILL get back to them
- Screenshots happen
- Forwards happen
- "Confidential" doesn't mean anything
It makes YOU look bad
- Unprofessional
- Can't be trusted
- Difficult to work with
It's permanent evidence against you
- Performance reviews
- Disciplinary actions
- Legal proceedings

If you need to vent: Call a friend outside of work. Never put it in writing.

The Only Acceptable Way to Criticize in Writing

If you must document a professional concern:

✅ "I'd like to discuss the project timeline—I'm concerned about the current approach meeting our Q4 deadline."

Not:

❌ "John's timeline is completely unrealistic and shows he doesn't understand the technical constraints."

Difference:

Focus on the issue, not the person
Professional language
Constructive, not destructive

Thing #3: Anything Discriminatory, Harassing, or Offensive

This should be obvious, but people still do it:

❌ Comments about race, gender, age, religion, disability ❌ Sexual comments or innuendo ❌ Offensive jokes ❌ Exclusionary language

"But I was joking!"

Doesn't matter. Written words don't convey tone. And jokes aren't funny when they're used against you in a lawsuit.

Rule: If you wouldn't say it in a recorded all-hands meeting, don't write it in an email or Slack.

Thing #4: Premature Promises or Commitments

Don't Promise What You Can't Guarantee

❌ "We'll definitely have this done by Friday" ❌ "I guarantee we can meet that budget" ❌ "We'll never have downtime" ❌ "This will 100% work"

Why:

Creates contractual obligation
Can be used against you when things change
Makes you liable if you can't deliver

Better:

✅ "Based on current information, we're on track for Friday delivery. I'll update you if anything changes."

✅ "Our estimate is $X, assuming [specific assumptions]. Happy to revise if scope changes."

Key differences:

Conditional language
Acknowledges variables
Leaves room for uncertainty

The Exception: When You SHOULD Put Commitments in Writing

Written commitments are good when:

You have authority to make them
You've checked with relevant teams
You want accountability for delivery
You want to document agreement

Example:

✅ "Confirming: We'll deliver the final report by March 15. This assumes we receive the data by March 1 as discussed."

This is professional and protects both parties.

Thing #5: Emotional Responses

Never Write Emails or Messages When You're Angry, Frustrated, or Upset

❌ Writing when you're emotional = career-limiting move

Examples of emotional writing:

❌ "I can't believe you would do this to me" ❌ "This is absolutely ridiculous" ❌ "I'm done dealing with this nonsense" ❌ All caps, excessive punctuation, angry tone

Why it backfires:

You can't take it back
- Once sent, it's permanent
- "Recall" doesn't work
- Screenshots exist
You'll regret it
- Emotions cool
- Perspective changes
- Embarrassment remains
It damages relationships
- Hard to recover from
- People remember emotional outbursts
- Trust is destroyed

The Rule: Write It, Sleep On It, Then Delete It

When you're emotional:

Write the angry email (but DON'T address it)
Save as draft
Wait 24 hours
Reread it
Delete it
Write professional version

Or:

Call someone
Talk to a friend/spouse outside work
Write in a journal
Go for a walk

Never hit send on emotion.

What to Do Instead: When to Use Calls or In-Person

Use Verbal Communication For:

✅ Sensitive feedback

"Your performance hasn't met expectations"
"The team has concerns about your approach"

✅ Difficult conversations

Salary negotiations
Conflict resolution
Delivering bad news

✅ Anything legally risky

Discussing regulatory gray areas
Intellectual property concerns
Potential policy violations

✅ Strategic discussions you don't want documented

Competitive strategy
Layoff planning
Merger discussions

How to Document Verbal Conversations Professionally

After sensitive conversations, send professional summary:

Hi [Name],

Thanks for the conversation today. To summarize our discussion:

• [Key point 1] • [Key point 2] • Next steps: [action items]

Let me know if I missed anything.

This documents without being accusatory or emotional.

Additional "Never Write This" Guidelines

Never Write:

❌ "This email will self-destruct"

Nothing self-destructs. Assume permanence.

❌ "Don't forward this"

People will forward it anyway.

❌ "Just between us"

It won't be.

❌ "Off the record"

There's no such thing in writing.

Signs You're About to Write Something You Shouldn't

Warning signs:

You're writing with adrenaline pumping
You're thinking "I'll show them"
You're using all caps or excessive punctuation
You're about to hit send without rereading
You're writing something you'd want to delete later
You're writing something you'd never say in person

If any of these are true: STOP. Don't send.

What IS Safe to Put in Writing

Professional Documentation Is Good

✅ Project updates ✅ Meeting recaps ✅ Decision documentation ✅ Factual status reports ✅ Professional questions and answers ✅ Constructive feedback (professionally worded) ✅ Commitments you can keep

Rule: If you'd be comfortable with your CEO, HR, and a jury seeing it, it's probably fine.

How to Handle When Someone Else Writes Something They Shouldn't

If someone sends you something inappropriate:

Don't:

Reply with your own inappropriate response
Forward it with commentary
Screenshot and share

Do:

Ignore it
Address it verbally if needed
Report to HR if it's seriously problematic
Don't add to the paper trail

The 4 Tests Before Hitting Send

Before sending any written message at work:

1. SIGNAL: Is this something I'd say in a recorded meeting?

If no, don't write it.

2. OPPORTUNITY: Could this help or hurt my career?

Assume it will be shared. Act accordingly.

3. RISK: Am I writing this while emotional?

Wait. Reread. Revise.

4. AFFECT: Would I be OK if this was on the news?

If not, pick up the phone instead.

Check Your Message Before Sending

Not sure if something is safe to put in writing?

Analyze it free with 4Angles →

Paste your message. See how it scores on:

SIGNAL (Is this professional?)
OPPORTUNITY (Could this hurt you?)
RISK (Are you being too candid?)
AFFECT (How will this be perceived?)

Get specific guidance before potential career damage.

No signup required. Just instant analysis.

The Email That Ended a Career

A frustrated employee sends an email:

"This client is impossible. I can't believe we're bending over backwards for someone who pays us practically nothing. Honestly, I hope they take their business elsewhere."

Two problems:

They accidentally CC'd the client
Even if they hadn't, it's now in writing forever

Screenshots get shared. Emails get forwarded. Slack messages get subpoenaed.

Some things should NEVER be in writing.

Thing #1: Anything You Wouldn't Want on the News

The Rule: Would You Be OK If This Showed Up in a News Article?

If not, don't write it.

Examples of what NOT to write:

❌ "Let's find a loophole around this regulation" ❌ "Don't tell [department] about this issue" ❌ "I know this technically violates policy but..." ❌ "Delete this email after reading"

Why:

Written communication is discoverable in lawsuits
Can be subpoenaed
Can be leaked or hacked
Lives forever

Better: Discuss sensitive topics in person or via phone call.

Thing #2: Criticism of Colleagues or Leadership

Never Write Negative Things About People You Work With

❌ "Sarah is so incompetent at her job" ❌ "Management has no idea what they're doing" ❌ "I can't believe they promoted him over me" ❌ "This team is a disaster"

Why this will destroy your career:

It WILL get back to them
- Screenshots happen
- Forwards happen
- "Confidential" doesn't mean anything
It makes YOU look bad
- Unprofessional
- Can't be trusted
- Difficult to work with
It's permanent evidence against you
- Performance reviews
- Disciplinary actions
- Legal proceedings

If you need to vent: Call a friend outside of work. Never put it in writing.

The Only Acceptable Way to Criticize in Writing

If you must document a professional concern:

✅ "I'd like to discuss the project timeline—I'm concerned about the current approach meeting our Q4 deadline."

Not:

❌ "John's timeline is completely unrealistic and shows he doesn't understand the technical constraints."

Difference:

Focus on the issue, not the person
Professional language
Constructive, not destructive

Thing #3: Anything Discriminatory, Harassing, or Offensive

This should be obvious, but people still do it:

❌ Comments about race, gender, age, religion, disability ❌ Sexual comments or innuendo ❌ Offensive jokes ❌ Exclusionary language

"But I was joking!"

Doesn't matter. Written words don't convey tone. And jokes aren't funny when they're used against you in a lawsuit.

Rule: If you wouldn't say it in a recorded all-hands meeting, don't write it in an email or Slack.

Thing #4: Premature Promises or Commitments

Don't Promise What You Can't Guarantee

❌ "We'll definitely have this done by Friday" ❌ "I guarantee we can meet that budget" ❌ "We'll never have downtime" ❌ "This will 100% work"

Why:

Creates contractual obligation
Can be used against you when things change
Makes you liable if you can't deliver

Better:

✅ "Based on current information, we're on track for Friday delivery. I'll update you if anything changes."

✅ "Our estimate is $X, assuming [specific assumptions]. Happy to revise if scope changes."

Key differences:

Conditional language
Acknowledges variables
Leaves room for uncertainty

The Exception: When You SHOULD Put Commitments in Writing

Written commitments are good when:

You have authority to make them
You've checked with relevant teams
You want accountability for delivery
You want to document agreement

Example:

✅ "Confirming: We'll deliver the final report by March 15. This assumes we receive the data by March 1 as discussed."

This is professional and protects both parties.

Thing #5: Emotional Responses

Never Write Emails or Messages When You're Angry, Frustrated, or Upset

❌ Writing when you're emotional = career-limiting move

Examples of emotional writing:

❌ "I can't believe you would do this to me" ❌ "This is absolutely ridiculous" ❌ "I'm done dealing with this nonsense" ❌ All caps, excessive punctuation, angry tone

Why it backfires:

You can't take it back
- Once sent, it's permanent
- "Recall" doesn't work
- Screenshots exist
You'll regret it
- Emotions cool
- Perspective changes
- Embarrassment remains
It damages relationships
- Hard to recover from
- People remember emotional outbursts
- Trust is destroyed

The Rule: Write It, Sleep On It, Then Delete It

When you're emotional:

Write the angry email (but DON'T address it)
Save as draft
Wait 24 hours
Reread it
Delete it
Write professional version

Or:

Call someone
Talk to a friend/spouse outside work
Write in a journal
Go for a walk

Never hit send on emotion.

What to Do Instead: When to Use Calls or In-Person

Use Verbal Communication For:

✅ Sensitive feedback

"Your performance hasn't met expectations"
"The team has concerns about your approach"

✅ Difficult conversations

Salary negotiations
Conflict resolution
Delivering bad news

✅ Anything legally risky

Discussing regulatory gray areas
Intellectual property concerns
Potential policy violations

✅ Strategic discussions you don't want documented

Competitive strategy
Layoff planning
Merger discussions

How to Document Verbal Conversations Professionally

After sensitive conversations, send professional summary:

Hi [Name],

Thanks for the conversation today. To summarize our discussion:

• [Key point 1] • [Key point 2] • Next steps: [action items]

Let me know if I missed anything.

This documents without being accusatory or emotional.

Additional "Never Write This" Guidelines

Never Write:

❌ "This email will self-destruct"

Nothing self-destructs. Assume permanence.

❌ "Don't forward this"

People will forward it anyway.

❌ "Just between us"

It won't be.

❌ "Off the record"

There's no such thing in writing.

Signs You're About to Write Something You Shouldn't

Warning signs:

You're writing with adrenaline pumping
You're thinking "I'll show them"
You're using all caps or excessive punctuation
You're about to hit send without rereading
You're writing something you'd want to delete later
You're writing something you'd never say in person

If any of these are true: STOP. Don't send.

What IS Safe to Put in Writing

Professional Documentation Is Good

Rule: If you'd be comfortable with your CEO, HR, and a jury seeing it, it's probably fine.

How to Handle When Someone Else Writes Something They Shouldn't

If someone sends you something inappropriate:

Don't:

Reply with your own inappropriate response
Forward it with commentary
Screenshot and share

Do:

Ignore it
Address it verbally if needed
Report to HR if it's seriously problematic
Don't add to the paper trail

The 4 Tests Before Hitting Send

Before sending any written message at work:

1. SIGNAL: Is this something I'd say in a recorded meeting?

If no, don't write it.

2. OPPORTUNITY: Could this help or hurt my career?

Assume it will be shared. Act accordingly.

3. RISK: Am I writing this while emotional?

Wait. Reread. Revise.

4. AFFECT: Would I be OK if this was on the news?

If not, pick up the phone instead.

Check Your Message Before Sending

Not sure if something is safe to put in writing?

Analyze it free with 4Angles →

Paste your message. See how it scores on:

SIGNAL (Is this professional?)
OPPORTUNITY (Could this hurt you?)
RISK (Are you being too candid?)
AFFECT (How will this be perceived?)

Get specific guidance before potential career damage.

No signup required. Just instant analysis.

5 Things You Should Never Put in Writing at Work

The Email That Ended a Career

Thing #1: Anything You Wouldn't Want on the News

The Rule: Would You Be OK If This Showed Up in a News Article?

Thing #2: Criticism of Colleagues or Leadership

Never Write Negative Things About People You Work With

The Only Acceptable Way to Criticize in Writing

Thing #3: Anything Discriminatory, Harassing, or Offensive

Thing #4: Premature Promises or Commitments

Don't Promise What You Can't Guarantee

The Exception: When You SHOULD Put Commitments in Writing

Thing #5: Emotional Responses

Never Write Emails or Messages When You're Angry, Frustrated, or Upset

The Rule: Write It, Sleep On It, Then Delete It

What to Do Instead: When to Use Calls or In-Person

Use Verbal Communication For:

How to Document Verbal Conversations Professionally

Additional "Never Write This" Guidelines

Never Write:

Signs You're About to Write Something You Shouldn't

What IS Safe to Put in Writing

Professional Documentation Is Good

How to Handle When Someone Else Writes Something They Shouldn't

If someone sends you something inappropriate:

The 4 Tests Before Hitting Send

1. SIGNAL: Is this something I'd say in a recorded meeting?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Could this help or hurt my career?

3. RISK: Am I writing this while emotional?

4. AFFECT: Would I be OK if this was on the news?

Check Your Message Before Sending

Related Reading

Ready to Analyze Your Message?

5 Things You Should Never Put in Writing at Work

The Email That Ended a Career

Thing #1: Anything You Wouldn't Want on the News

The Rule: Would You Be OK If This Showed Up in a News Article?

Thing #2: Criticism of Colleagues or Leadership

Never Write Negative Things About People You Work With

The Only Acceptable Way to Criticize in Writing

Thing #3: Anything Discriminatory, Harassing, or Offensive

Thing #4: Premature Promises or Commitments

Don't Promise What You Can't Guarantee

The Exception: When You SHOULD Put Commitments in Writing

Thing #5: Emotional Responses

Never Write Emails or Messages When You're Angry, Frustrated, or Upset

The Rule: Write It, Sleep On It, Then Delete It

What to Do Instead: When to Use Calls or In-Person

Use Verbal Communication For:

How to Document Verbal Conversations Professionally

Additional "Never Write This" Guidelines

Never Write:

Signs You're About to Write Something You Shouldn't

What IS Safe to Put in Writing

Professional Documentation Is Good

How to Handle When Someone Else Writes Something They Shouldn't

If someone sends you something inappropriate:

The 4 Tests Before Hitting Send

1. SIGNAL: Is this something I'd say in a recorded meeting?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Could this help or hurt my career?

3. RISK: Am I writing this while emotional?

4. AFFECT: Would I be OK if this was on the news?

Check Your Message Before Sending

Related Reading

Ready to Analyze Your Message?