I spent years thinking my anxiety was intuition.
Every anxious thought:
"Something's wrong."
"He's going to leave."
"She's mad at me."
"This is going to go badly."
I called it:
"My gut feeling."
"Intuition."
"Knowing."
My therapist called it:
"Anxiety."
And I was offended.
Until she taught me the difference.
The Text That Taught Me
Scenario:
Partner takes two hours to respond to my text.
My brain:
"He's pulling away. Something's wrong. He's losing interest. The relationship is ending."
I texted my therapist:
"I think something's wrong. My gut is telling me he's distant."
Her response:
"Or your anxiety is creating a story. Has he given you actual evidence of pulling away?"
Me:
"No, but I can feel it."
Her:
"That's not intuition. That's anxiety. Let's talk about the difference."
The Difference
Intuition:
Calm knowing
Feels:
- Quiet
- Grounded
- Certain
- Peaceful (even if the knowing is uncomfortable)
Says:
- "This isn't right for me."
- "I need to pay attention here."
- "Something feels off."
Doesn't:
- Spiral
- Catastrophize
- Create disaster scenarios
- Need constant reassurance
Based on:
- Pattern recognition
- Subtle cues you've picked up
- Past experience informing present
- Body wisdom
Anxiety:
Loud panic
Feels:
- Frantic
- Racing
- Urgent
- Chaotic
Says:
- "Everything's going wrong!"
- "They're definitely mad at me!"
- "This is absolutely going to be a disaster!"
- "I need to check/fix/control this NOW!"
Does:
- Spiral into worst-case scenarios
- Jumps to conclusions
- Needs constant reassurance
- Creates stories without evidence
Based on:
- Past trauma
- Fear
- Hypervigilance
- Protective patterns
How I Learned to Tell Them Apart
My therapist gave me questions:
Question 1: What's the quality of the feeling?
Intuition: Quiet, grounded, certain
Anxiety: Loud, frantic, urgent
Example:
Intuition: Quiet feeling of "this relationship isn't right for me"
Anxiety: Panicked "he's going to leave me! I need to text him right now!"
Question 2: What's the message?
Intuition: Clear, specific, actionable
Anxiety: Catastrophic, vague, spiraling
Example:
Intuition: "This person doesn't respect my boundaries."
Anxiety: "Everyone's going to abandon me and I'll die alone!"
Question 3: What evidence do I have?
Intuition: Based on patterns and subtle cues
Anxiety: Based on fear, not facts
Example:
Intuition: "He's consistently 30 minutes late to every plan and doesn't apologize. That shows disrespect."
Anxiety: "He took two hours to text back once, so he's definitely leaving me."
Question 4: Does it create calm or chaos?
Intuition: Even if uncomfortable, creates sense of clarity
Anxiety: Creates panic, need for immediate action, spiraling
Example:
Intuition: Calm decision to end unhealthy relationship
Anxiety: Frantic need to end relationship NOW before they leave first
Question 5: Can I sit with it?
Intuition: Yes. It's patient.
Anxiety: No. It demands immediate response.
Example:
Intuition: Sits with feeling of "this isn't working" for days/weeks, gains clarity
Anxiety: NEEDS to text them RIGHT NOW at 2am to "fix" things
Real Examples From My Life
Example 1: The Job Interview
What I felt:
"I don't want this job."
Anxiety would say:
"You're just scared! You always self-sabotage! You need this job! What if you never get another opportunity?!"
Intuition said:
"This company's values don't align with yours. The boss reminded you of someone toxic. The work would drain you."
How I knew it was intuition:
- Calm, clear feeling
- Specific reasons based on what I observed
- Peaceful decision not to accept offer
- No spiraling or panic
Result:
Turned it down. Found better job three weeks later.
Example 2: The Friend's Text
Friend texted: "Can we talk?"
Anxiety said:
"Oh god she's mad at you! You did something wrong! She's going to end the friendship! What did you do?! Think through every interaction! FIX THIS!"
Intuition said:
"She's probably just got something on her mind. Wait and see what she actually says."
How I knew it was anxiety:
- Immediate panic
- Catastrophizing
- No evidence of anger
- Urge to frantically text back "what's wrong?!"
Result:
She wanted to talk about HER job stress. Nothing to do with me.
Example 3: The Relationship
What I felt:
"This relationship isn't healthy for me."
Anxiety would say:
"But what if you're wrong?! What if you regret it?! What if you never find anyone else?! What if you're just self-sabotaging again?!"
Intuition said:
"You've tried to make this work for two years. The patterns haven't changed. You're exhausted. You deserve different."
How I knew it was intuition:
- Had been feeling it calmly for months
- Based on concrete patterns
- Peaceful (though sad) decision
- No frantic energy
Result:
Ended it. Best decision I ever made.
The Trap I Fell Into
For years I:
Trusted every anxious thought as intuition.
Result:
- Ended relationships that were fine
- Turned down opportunities out of fear
- Made decisions from panic
- Constantly sought reassurance
- Never felt grounded
Because:
Anxiety masquerades as intuition.
It says: "I'm protecting you! I'm warning you! Listen to me!"
But:
Anxiety is protection based on past wounds.
Intuition is wisdom based on present reality.
How to Strengthen Intuition & Quiet Anxiety
1. Pause Before Reacting
When you feel something:
Don't immediately act.
Ask:
"Is this frantic or calm?"
"Is this fear or knowing?"
Wait 24 hours if possible.
Intuition will still be there.
Anxiety might calm down.
2. Check for Evidence
Anxious thought: "They're mad at me."
Ask:
"What concrete evidence do I have?"
If the answer is "just a feeling":
That's likely anxiety.
If the answer is "they said [specific thing] and did [specific behavior]":
That's likely intuition picking up on cues.
3. Notice Your Body
Anxiety:
- Chest tight
- Heart racing
- Shallow breathing
- Jittery
- Urgent
Intuition:
- Calm (even if uncomfortable)
- Grounded
- Centered
- Clear
- Patient
4. Journal
Write out the thought.
Then ask:
"What evidence do I have?"
"What am I afraid of?"
"What's the actual situation vs. the story I'm creating?"
Often:
Seeing it on paper reveals anxiety's patterns.
5. Test It
If intuition:
The knowing will be consistent and patient.
If anxiety:
It will fluctuate and demand urgency.
What Changed For Me
I stopped:
- Acting on every anxious thought
- Calling my anxiety "intuition"
- Making fear-based decisions
- Constantly seeking reassurance
I started:
- Pausing before reacting
- Checking for evidence
- Distinguishing between the two
- Trusting actual intuition
Result:
- Better decisions
- Less regret
- More groundedness
- Fewer panic spirals
- Actual trust in my gut (when it's really my gut)
The Hard Truth
If every "gut feeling" is catastrophic:
That's not your gut.
That's your anxiety.
Real intuition:
- Isn't always comfortable
- But is always clear
- And ultimately leads you toward what's right for you
Anxiety:
- Is always uncomfortable
- And always chaotic
- And often leads you away from what's right for you
How to Know Right Now
Think about a recent "gut feeling."
Ask:
Was it:
- Calm or frantic?
- Clear or spiraling?
- Based on evidence or fear?
- Patient or urgent?
- Grounding or panic-inducing?
If frantic, spiraling, fear-based, urgent, panic-inducing:
Anxiety.
If calm, clear, evidence-based, patient, grounding:
Intuition.
One Year Later
I still get anxious.
But I don't mistake it for intuition anymore.
When anxiety speaks:
I acknowledge it:
"I hear you. You're trying to protect me. But I'm safe."
When intuition speaks:
I listen:
"Okay. What do I need to know?"
And my life is:
So much calmer.
Because I'm not constantly:
Reacting to false alarms.
I'm responding to:
Real information.
And that's made all the difference.
About 4Angles: Anxiety feels urgent and chaotic. Intuition feels calm and clear. Learning the difference will change your life.
Last updated: October 31, 2025