You've been waiting for permission.
To:
- Leave the job
- End the relationship
- Move cities
- Change careers
- Start over
- Walk away
Waiting for:
- The right time
- A sign
- Someone to tell you it's okay
- Everything to line up perfectly
- Certainty
Here it is:
You have permission.
To start over.
Now.
The Permission You've Been Waiting For
You have permission:
To Change Your Mind
Even if:
- You said you'd stay
- You've invested years
- People are counting on you
- It's "too late"
You're allowed to realize:
"This isn't what I want anymore."
And choose differently.
To Disappoint People
Even if:
- They'll be upset
- They'll think you're selfish
- They'll say you're giving up
- They expected more
You're allowed to:
Prioritize yourself.
Even when it disappoints others.
To Not Have It All Figured Out
You don't need:
- A perfect plan
- All the answers
- A guarantee it'll work
- Complete certainty
You're allowed to:
Leave before knowing what's next.
To Walk Away
From:
- The career you studied for
- The person you promised forever
- The city you planted roots in
- The version of yourself you've outgrown
Even if:
You don't have a perfect reason.
"I'm not happy" is enough.
To Quit
Even if:
- Everyone thinks you're crazy
- You'll lose money
- You'll lose status
- You'll lose stability
Sometimes:
Losing everything you thought you wanted:
Saves your life.
To Start Over at Any Age
You're not too old at:
- 30
- 40
- 50
- 60
- 70
As long as you're alive:
You can start over.
The Permission I Needed
I stayed in the wrong life for years.
Waiting for:
Someone to tell me it was okay to leave.
My mom: "But you've been together five years."
My friend: "Are you sure? He's a good guy."
My coworker: "Most relationships have problems."
Society: "Don't give up so easily."
Everyone saying:
Stay.
No one saying:
You're allowed to leave.
So I stayed.
Until:
I gave myself permission.
The Moment Everything Changed
I was sitting in my car.
Crying in a parking lot.
After another fight.
And I thought:
"What if I just... left?"
Immediately:
The objections:
But you've been together five years.
So? Do I owe him five more?
But he's not abusive.
Does he have to be for me to leave?
But you said forever.
I also said I'd major in biology. People change.
But what will people think?
Do they have to live my life?
But you don't have a perfect reason.
I'm unhappy. That's perfect enough.
And I realized:
I didn't need:
- A better reason
- More evidence
- Someone's blessing
- The timing to be perfect
I just needed:
Permission.
From myself.
The Permission Slip
I wrote it out:
To: Me
From: Me
Permission granted to:
Start over.
Leave what's not working.
Disappoint people who expect you to stay small.
Choose yourself.
Change your mind.
Not have all the answers.
Be uncertain and move forward anyway.
Walk away even if they think you're crazy.
Prioritize your peace over others' comfort.
No further justification required.
I kept it.
Read it whenever I doubted.
What Happened When I Used It
I left.
And people:
Said: "But you've been together so long!"
I said: "And I can't do five more years."
Said: "What about everything you built together?"
I said: "I'd rather start over than stay miserable."
Said: "You're being selfish."
I said: "Yes. And I'm okay with that."
Said: "You'll regret this."
I said: "Maybe. But I regret staying more."
For the first time:
I chose me.
Without apology.
The Permission Slips Others Needed
My friend called last week:
Her: "I want to leave my job. But I just got promoted."
Me: "Do you want the promotion?"
Her: "No. But I worked so hard for it."
Me: "So?"
Her: "So... I can't just leave."
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "Because... I don't know. It feels wrong."
Me: "You have permission to leave. Even after the promotion. Especially after the promotion, if it showed you that you don't want this path."
Silence.
Her: "I needed to hear that."
She quit two weeks later.
The Reasons You Don't Need
You don't need:
A dramatic reason:
"He's not abusive, so..."
He doesn't have to be. Unhappy is enough.
Everyone to agree:
"My family will be disappointed."
They'll survive. Will you?
Perfect timing:
"It's not a good time."
It never is. Go anyway.
A backup plan:
"But what will I do?"
You'll figure it out. You always do.
To know it's the right decision:
"What if I'm wrong?"
What if you're right?
What Permission Actually Means
It doesn't mean:
It won't be hard.
It won't hurt.
People won't judge.
You won't doubt.
It means:
You're allowed to do it anyway.
One Year Later
I'm in a different:
- City
- Job
- Relationship
- Life
Not because I had:
- Perfect timing
- Everyone's blessing
- All the answers
- Certainty
But because:
I gave myself permission:
To start over.
And that permission:
Changed everything.
The Permission You're Waiting For
Is this one.
You have permission:
To leave.
To start over.
To change your mind.
To disappoint people.
To not know what's next.
To be uncertain.
To choose yourself.
To walk away from what's not working.
Even if:
- It's been years
- You've invested so much
- People will judge
- It's scary
- You don't have a plan
- No one understands
You're allowed.
You don't need:
- Their approval
- A better reason
- Perfect timing
- More evidence
You just need:
Your own permission.
And I'm giving you:
Permission to give it to yourself.
The Question
Not:
"Do I have a good enough reason?"
But:
"Am I happy?"
If no:
You have all the reason you need.
The Truth
You've been waiting:
For someone to tell you it's okay.
It's okay.
Start over.
Now.
About 4Angles: You don't need anyone's permission to start over. You just need your own. Consider this your permission slip.
Last updated: October 31, 2025