The Email That Tries Too Hard
You want to sound professional. Knowledgeable. Smart.
So you write:
"We must leverage synergistic methodologies to optimize our paradigmatic approach and facilitate cross-functional alignment vis-à-vis stakeholder expectations."
You think this sounds impressive.
What it actually sounds like: "I don't know what I'm talking about, so I'm hiding behind big words."
Here's the truth:
Smart people use simple words.
Insecure people use complex words.
Why Big Words Make You Sound Dumb
Complex Language Signals Insecurity
When you use unnecessarily complex language, you're broadcasting:
- I don't understand this well enough to explain it simply
- I'm trying to impress you with vocabulary
- I'm insecure about my intelligence
- I don't value your time (making you work to decode my message)
Research shows: People rate writers who use simple language as more intelligent than those who use complex language for the same ideas.
Einstein famously said: "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
It's Harder to Understand
Your goal is to communicate, not to impress.
Every complex word you use:
- Slows reading speed
- Increases cognitive load
- Creates opportunity for misunderstanding
- Makes people give up on your message
The easier your writing is to understand, the smarter you seem.
It Looks Like You're Hiding Something
Corporate jargon and complex language often hide empty ideas:
❌ "We're leveraging our core competencies to pivot our go-to-market strategy"
Translation: "We're changing how we sell"
The complex version makes people suspicious: "What are they really saying?"
Simple language builds trust.
How Actually Smart People Communicate
They Use the Simplest Word That Works
Not the fanciest word. The simplest one that conveys the meaning.
| ❌ TRYING TOO HARD | ✅ ACTUALLY SMART |
|---|---|
| utilize | use |
| facilitate | help |
| leverage | use |
| paradigm | model |
| synergy | working together |
| optimize | improve |
| endeavor | try |
| ascertain | find out |
| subsequently | then |
| prior to | before |
The simple version is:
- Faster to read
- Easier to understand
- More memorable
- More persuasive
They Explain Complex Ideas Simply
The real test of intelligence: Can you make a complex idea clear?
❌ Trying to sound smart: "The implementation of our strategic initiative necessitates the optimization of cross-functional dependencies to achieve synergistic outcomes."
✅ Actually smart: "This project requires coordination across teams to succeed."
Which one sounds like someone who knows what they're doing?
They Use Concrete Examples
Abstract language sounds smart but communicates nothing:
❌ "We need to enhance our value proposition through innovative service delivery mechanisms"
✅ "We need to respond to customer emails within 24 hours instead of 72"
The second one:
- Is clear
- Is actionable
- Shows you understand the problem
- Sounds competent
Techniques to Sound Smart Using Simple Language
Technique 1: Cut Corporate Jargon
Find and replace:
| ❌ JARGON | ✅ SIMPLE |
|---|---|
| circle back | follow up |
| touch base | talk |
| actionable insights | useful information |
| move the needle | make progress |
| low-hanging fruit | easy wins |
| deep dive | analyze |
| bandwidth | time |
| alignment | agreement |
| take offline | discuss later |
| drill down | look closer |
Your writing immediately sounds more intelligent.
Technique 2: Replace Long Words with Short Ones
Prefer Anglo-Saxon words over Latin-derived words:
| ❌ LONG (LATIN) | ✅ SHORT (ANGLO-SAXON) |
|---|---|
| terminate | end |
| demonstrate | show |
| sufficient | enough |
| purchase | buy |
| commence | start |
| obtain | get |
| assist | help |
| require | need |
| approximately | about |
Short words are more powerful and direct.
Technique 3: Use Active Voice
Passive voice sounds academic and weak. Active voice sounds smart and confident.
❌ Passive (weak): "It was determined that the project should be cancelled."
✅ Active (strong): "We cancelled the project."
❌ Passive: "Mistakes were made in the analysis."
✅ Active: "I made mistakes in the analysis."
Active voice:
- Is clearer
- Is more honest
- Sounds more confident
- Is shorter
Technique 4: Kill Your Adverbs
Adverbs make writing weak. Strong verbs make writing powerful.
❌ "We very quickly implemented the changes" ✅ "We implemented the changes in 3 days"
❌ "She extremely clearly explained the problem" ✅ "She explained the problem in two sentences"
❌ "This is really important" ✅ "This is critical" or better yet, explain WHY it's important
Replace adverb + weak verb with one strong verb or concrete details.
Real Examples: Before and After
Example 1: Strategy Email
❌ TRYING TOO HARD
In order to optimize our organizational efficacy, we must endeavor to leverage our core competencies and facilitate cross-functional synergies. By implementing a paradigmatic shift in our strategic approach, we can maximize stakeholder value and achieve sustainable competitive advantages in the marketplace.
What's wrong:
- Meaningless jargon
- Zero specific information
- Sounds insecure
- Nobody knows what you're actually suggesting
✅ ACTUALLY SMART
To improve our results, we should focus on what we do best and get teams working together. If we change our strategy, we can deliver more value to customers and stay ahead of competitors.
Or even better (with concrete details):
To improve our Q4 results:
- Focus on our top 3 products (not spread thin across 15)
- Get sales and product teams meeting weekly
- Ship customer-requested features before new experiments
This helps us keep the customers we have and win new ones.
Why this works:
- Clear actions
- Specific details
- Easy to understand
- Sounds competent
Example 2: Technical Explanation
❌ TRYING TOO HARD
The API infrastructure utilizes RESTful architectural principles to facilitate seamless integration capabilities with heterogeneous client applications, thereby enabling cross-platform interoperability and optimized resource allocation.
What's wrong:
- Technical jargon that obscures meaning
- Sounds like you copied from documentation
- Doesn't explain anything
✅ ACTUALLY SMART
The API is a REST API, which means any app (web, mobile, desktop) can connect to it using standard HTTPS requests. This makes it easy to integrate and fast to respond.
Why this works:
- Explains what it is
- Explains why it matters
- Gives concrete examples
- Anyone can understand it
Example 3: Project Update
❌ TRYING TOO HARD
The project is currently experiencing temporal delays due to unforeseen impediments. We are endeavoring to implement corrective measures to optimize the timeline and minimize further schedule slippage.
What's wrong:
- Hiding bad news in complex language
- Vague about problems and solutions
- Sounds defensive
✅ ACTUALLY SMART
The project is 2 weeks behind schedule because the API provider changed their authentication system unexpectedly. We're fixing our integration now. New deadline: March 15 instead of March 1.
Why this works:
- Honest about the problem
- Specific about cause
- Clear about solution and timeline
- Sounds responsible and competent
When to Use Technical Language
Sometimes technical terms are necessary:
✅ Use technical language when:
- Your audience knows the terms
- There's no simpler alternative
- Being precise is critical
- You're writing for experts in your field
✅ But always:
- Define terms the first time you use them
- Use simple sentence structure even with technical words
- Explain why it matters in plain language
Example of good technical writing:
We're using PostgreSQL for the database (not MySQL) because it handles concurrent writes better. This means multiple users can edit data at the same time without conflicts.
Why this works:
- Uses technical term where appropriate
- Explains why it matters
- Gives concrete benefit
The Rule of Thumb: Would You Say It Out Loud?
If you wouldn't say it in a conversation, don't write it.
❌ "We must endeavor to facilitate alignment" Would you say this out loud? No. You'd say: "Let's get on the same page"
❌ "Utilize this methodology" Out loud: "Use this method"
❌ "Prior to commencing" Out loud: "Before we start"
Write how you talk. (But edit out the "um"s and "like"s.)
The 4 Tests for Simple, Smart Writing
Before sending:
1. SIGNAL: Would a 14-year-old understand this?
If not, simplify. (Smart adults appreciate simple language too.)
2. OPPORTUNITY: Am I using the simplest word that works?
Replace jargon and complex words with simple alternatives.
3. RISK: Am I hiding behind fancy language?
If your idea is good, it works in simple language. If it only sounds good in complex language, the idea might be bad.
4. AFFECT: Would I want to read this?
If it's tedious to read, it's tedious to write better.
Practice: Simplify These Sentences
Before: "We need to leverage our core competencies to drive synergistic outcomes"
After: "We should use what we're good at to get better results together"
Before: "The implementation will necessitate significant resource allocation"
After: "This will take time and money"
Before: "Please utilize the online portal to facilitate your submission"
After: "Please use the online form to submit"
Before: "We must endeavor to optimize our operational efficiency"
After: "We need to work faster"
See how much clearer the simple versions are?
Check Your Writing for Clarity
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Analyze it free with 4Angles →
Paste your text. See how it scores on:
- SIGNAL (Is it clear and simple?)
- OPPORTUNITY (Does it sound intelligent?)
- RISK (Are you using jargon that obscures meaning?)
- AFFECT (Is it easy and pleasant to read?)
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Related Reading
- The One Sentence That Makes You Sound Unprofessional
- How to Sound Confident When You're Not 100% Sure
- Is Your Thesis Statement Actually an Argument?
About 4Angles: We analyze your writing from 4 psychological perspectives (Signal, Opportunity, Risk, Affect) to help you communicate with confidence. Free analysis available at 4angles.com.
Last Updated: 2025-10-28