How to Ask for a Raise Without Sounding Entitled

The Conversation You're Afraid to Have

You deserve a raise. You know it.

You're doing more work than when you were hired. You've delivered results. You've taken on more responsibility.

But you're terrified to ask because:

What if they say no?
What if you sound greedy or entitled?
What if it damages your relationship?
What if they think you're not a team player?

So you wait. And wait. And get increasingly resentful.

Here's the truth: Good managers expect you to advocate for yourself. The ones who get raises are the ones who ask, with the right approach.

Common Mistakes That Kill Your Raise Request

Mistake #1: Leading With Personal Needs

❌ "I need a raise because my rent went up" ❌ "I'm struggling to pay my bills" ❌ "Cost of living has increased"

Why this fails:

Your financial needs aren't your company's problem
They pay you for value delivered, not bills owed
Makes you sound entitled
Positions you as needy, not valuable

They don't care that your expenses increased. They care if your VALUE increased.

Mistake #2: Threatening to Leave (Without Actually Being Willing To)

❌ "If I don't get a raise, I'll have to start looking elsewhere"

Why this fails:

If you're bluffing, they'll call it
Burns the relationship
Makes future negotiations hostile
If they say "OK then," you're trapped

Only use this if you're actually prepared to leave.

Mistake #3: Comparing Yourself to Coworkers

❌ "I heard Sarah makes more than me and I do more work" ❌ "Everyone on the team got raises except me"

Why this fails:

You don't know the full context of others' comp
Makes you seem petty
Puts your manager in an awkward position
Comes across as entitled

Focus on YOUR value, not others' salaries.

Mistake #4: Poor Timing

Bad times to ask:

During financial difficulties at the company
Right after you made a mistake
In a casual hallway conversation
During performance reviews (if those are separate from comp discussions)

You need to ask strategically when you have leverage and evidence.

When to Ask for a Raise

You Have Leverage When:

✅ You've recently delivered major wins

Launched successful project
Landed big client
Solved critical problem
Exceeded goals significantly

✅ You've taken on significantly more responsibility

Leading a team now (weren't before)
Owning strategic initiatives
Doing work beyond your job description

✅ You have market data supporting you

Industry salaries have increased
You're paid below market rate
You have competing offers (only mention if true)

✅ The company is doing well financially

They have budget
They're growing
Recent funding round

Don't Ask When:

❌ Company is doing layoffs or struggling ❌ You've been there less than 6 months (unless exceptional circumstances) ❌ You haven't hit your goals ❌ You just got a raise (wait at least a year)

How to Build Your Case

Step 1: Document Your Achievements

Create a list of concrete accomplishments with NUMBERS:

Example achievements:

"Increased conversion rate from 2.3% to 4.1% (78% improvement)"
"Shipped feature that generated $200K in Q3 revenue"
"Reduced customer churn from 15% to 9%"
"Took on management of 3-person team (previously individual contributor)"
"Led migration project that saved 40 hours/month in manual work"

Why numbers matter:

Quantifiable impact
Hard to argue with data
Shows business value, not just effort

Step 2: Research Market Rates

Find out what you should be making:

Sources:

Glassdoor
Levels.fyi (for tech)
Payscale
LinkedIn Salary
Industry salary surveys

Know your number: "Engineers with 5 years experience in [city] typically make $X-Y"

Step 3: Define Your Ask

Be specific about what you want:

Not: "I'd like a raise" Yes: "I'm asking for a 15% salary increase to $X"

Why specificity matters:

Shows you've thought it through
Gives them something concrete to evaluate
Anchors the negotiation

The Script: How to Actually Ask

Part 1: Request the Meeting

Don't ambush them. Schedule a formal discussion.

Email/Message:

Hi [Manager],

I'd like to schedule time to discuss my compensation. Would you have 30 minutes this week or next?

Thanks, [Your name]

Why this works:

Professional and direct
Gives them time to prepare
Shows this is important to you

Part 2: Opening the Conversation

Start with your goal and excitement about the work:

"Thanks for making time. I want to talk about my compensation. I'm really excited about the work I'm doing and want to make sure my salary reflects my contributions to the team."

Why this works:

Direct about purpose
Positive framing
Shows commitment to the work

Part 3: Present Your Case

Walk through your documented achievements:

"I've been here [time period] and I've taken on significantly more responsibility:

[Achievement 1 with numbers]

[Achievement 2 with numbers]

[Achievement 3 with numbers]

I've also taken on [new responsibilities], which is beyond my original job description.

Based on my research, the market rate for someone with my experience doing this level of work is [range]. I'm currently at [current salary], which is [X%] below market.

I'm requesting a [specific %] increase to [new salary], which would bring me to market rate for my role and reflect the value I'm delivering."

Why this works:

Leads with value, not needs
Uses data and numbers
References market rate
Makes specific ask
Business case, not emotional plea

Part 4: Listen and Respond

They'll likely:

Say yes → Great! Get it in writing.
Say they need to think about it → Ask for timeline
Say no or not now → Ask what you need to do to get there

If they say they need to think about it:

"I understand. What timeline should I expect to hear back? And is there any additional information I can provide to help with the decision?"

If they say no:

"I appreciate you considering it. Can you help me understand what would need to happen for this to be possible? What would I need to achieve in the next 6 months to revisit this conversation?"

Real Example: Full Conversation

Context: Software engineer, been there 18 months, taken on team lead role

You:

"Thanks for meeting with me, Sarah. I wanted to discuss my compensation. I'm really excited about the direction the team is heading, especially with the new product launch, and I want to make sure my salary reflects the work I'm doing."

Manager:

"Of course. What are you thinking?"

You:

"Over the past 18 months, I've significantly expanded my role beyond the original job description. When I started, I was an IC engineer. Since then:

I've taken on tech lead responsibilities for the payment system, managing 3 engineers

I led the Q3 migration project that reduced our AWS costs by $50K/year

I built the automated testing framework that cut QA time by 60%

I've also been doing code review, architecture planning, and mentoring junior devs—all beyond my original IC role.

I've researched market rates for senior engineers with team lead responsibilities in [city]. The range is $130K-150K. I'm currently at $105K.

I'm requesting a 20% increase to $126K, which would put me at the lower end of market rate for the level of work I'm doing. Does that seem reasonable based on my contributions?"

Manager:

"I can see you've put a lot of thought into this. Let me talk to HR about budget and get back to you by end of next week."

You:

"That works. Is there any additional information I can provide to help make the case?"

Manager:

"No, this is helpful. I'll follow up next Friday."

What to Do If They Say No

Understand the "No"

Ask clarifying questions:

"Can you help me understand what would need to happen for this to be possible?"
"What would I need to achieve in the next 6 months to revisit this?"
"Is this a budget issue, or is there something about my performance I should focus on?"

Negotiate Alternatives

If salary increase isn't possible, ask for:

✅ Performance bonus tied to specific goals ✅ Stock options or equity ✅ Professional development budget ✅ Flexible work arrangement ✅ Additional PTO ✅ Clear timeline for next comp review (3 months, 6 months)

Set a Timeline for Follow-Up

"I understand the budget constraints. Can we revisit this conversation in [3/6 months]? I'd like to know what specific goals I should hit to make this happen."

Get it in writing if possible.

Decide If You Need to Leave

If they:

Refuse to give you a path to a raise
Make excuses repeatedly
Dismiss your contributions
Offer insulting alternatives

It might be time to look elsewhere.

But don't threaten to leave unless you mean it.

Advanced Tips

Build Your Case Over Time

Don't wait until you want a raise to start tracking achievements.

Keep a "wins" document
Update it monthly with accomplishments
Save emails with positive feedback
Track metrics that matter to the business

When raise time comes, you have 12 months of data ready.

Get an Offer (Then Decide What to Do With It)

Sometimes the best negotiating position is having options:

If you interview and get a competing offer:

Option 1: Use it to negotiate (risky if relationship matters) Option 2: Take the new job Option 3: Stay at current job (if they counter-offer)

Only mention the offer if you're genuinely willing to leave.

Frame It as a Retention Issue

Instead of: "I want more money" Frame as: "I want to stay here long-term, and I need compensation to reflect that"

"I'm committed to this team and the work we're doing. To make this a long-term fit, I need my compensation to be competitive with market rate."

This makes it about retaining you, not you being greedy.

The 4 Tests for Raise Requests

Before asking:

1. SIGNAL: Do I have a strong, data-backed case?

Achievements, market data, expanded role?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Is this good timing?

Company doing well? You recently delivered wins?

3. RISK: Am I being entitled or building a business case?

Personal needs vs. business value?

4. AFFECT: Would I give me a raise based on this case?

If you were the manager, would this be convincing?

Check Your Raise Request

Not sure if your case is strong enough?

Analyze it free with 4Angles →

Write out your case and see how it scores on:

SIGNAL (Is your case clear and specific?)
OPPORTUNITY (Are you positioned well?)
RISK (Are you making common mistakes?)
AFFECT (How will your manager feel?)

Get specific fixes before the conversation.

No signup required. Just instant communication analysis.

The Conversation You're Afraid to Have

You deserve a raise. You know it.

You're doing more work than when you were hired. You've delivered results. You've taken on more responsibility.

But you're terrified to ask because:

What if they say no?
What if you sound greedy or entitled?
What if it damages your relationship?
What if they think you're not a team player?

So you wait. And wait. And get increasingly resentful.

Here's the truth: Good managers expect you to advocate for yourself. The ones who get raises are the ones who ask, with the right approach.

Common Mistakes That Kill Your Raise Request

Mistake #1: Leading With Personal Needs

❌ "I need a raise because my rent went up" ❌ "I'm struggling to pay my bills" ❌ "Cost of living has increased"

Why this fails:

Your financial needs aren't your company's problem
They pay you for value delivered, not bills owed
Makes you sound entitled
Positions you as needy, not valuable

They don't care that your expenses increased. They care if your VALUE increased.

Mistake #2: Threatening to Leave (Without Actually Being Willing To)

❌ "If I don't get a raise, I'll have to start looking elsewhere"

Why this fails:

If you're bluffing, they'll call it
Burns the relationship
Makes future negotiations hostile
If they say "OK then," you're trapped

Only use this if you're actually prepared to leave.

Mistake #3: Comparing Yourself to Coworkers

❌ "I heard Sarah makes more than me and I do more work" ❌ "Everyone on the team got raises except me"

Why this fails:

You don't know the full context of others' comp
Makes you seem petty
Puts your manager in an awkward position
Comes across as entitled

Focus on YOUR value, not others' salaries.

Mistake #4: Poor Timing

Bad times to ask:

During financial difficulties at the company
Right after you made a mistake
In a casual hallway conversation
During performance reviews (if those are separate from comp discussions)

You need to ask strategically when you have leverage and evidence.

When to Ask for a Raise

You Have Leverage When:

✅ You've recently delivered major wins

Launched successful project
Landed big client
Solved critical problem
Exceeded goals significantly

✅ You've taken on significantly more responsibility

Leading a team now (weren't before)
Owning strategic initiatives
Doing work beyond your job description

✅ You have market data supporting you

Industry salaries have increased
You're paid below market rate
You have competing offers (only mention if true)

✅ The company is doing well financially

They have budget
They're growing
Recent funding round

Don't Ask When:

❌ Company is doing layoffs or struggling ❌ You've been there less than 6 months (unless exceptional circumstances) ❌ You haven't hit your goals ❌ You just got a raise (wait at least a year)

How to Build Your Case

Step 1: Document Your Achievements

Create a list of concrete accomplishments with NUMBERS:

Example achievements:

"Increased conversion rate from 2.3% to 4.1% (78% improvement)"
"Shipped feature that generated $200K in Q3 revenue"
"Reduced customer churn from 15% to 9%"
"Took on management of 3-person team (previously individual contributor)"
"Led migration project that saved 40 hours/month in manual work"

Why numbers matter:

Quantifiable impact
Hard to argue with data
Shows business value, not just effort

Step 2: Research Market Rates

Find out what you should be making:

Sources:

Glassdoor
Levels.fyi (for tech)
Payscale
LinkedIn Salary
Industry salary surveys

Know your number: "Engineers with 5 years experience in [city] typically make $X-Y"

Step 3: Define Your Ask

Be specific about what you want:

Not: "I'd like a raise" Yes: "I'm asking for a 15% salary increase to $X"

Why specificity matters:

Shows you've thought it through
Gives them something concrete to evaluate
Anchors the negotiation

The Script: How to Actually Ask

Part 1: Request the Meeting

Don't ambush them. Schedule a formal discussion.

Email/Message:

Hi [Manager],

I'd like to schedule time to discuss my compensation. Would you have 30 minutes this week or next?

Thanks, [Your name]

Why this works:

Professional and direct
Gives them time to prepare
Shows this is important to you

Part 2: Opening the Conversation

Start with your goal and excitement about the work:

"Thanks for making time. I want to talk about my compensation. I'm really excited about the work I'm doing and want to make sure my salary reflects my contributions to the team."

Why this works:

Direct about purpose
Positive framing
Shows commitment to the work

Part 3: Present Your Case

Walk through your documented achievements:

"I've been here [time period] and I've taken on significantly more responsibility:

[Achievement 1 with numbers]

[Achievement 2 with numbers]

[Achievement 3 with numbers]

I've also taken on [new responsibilities], which is beyond my original job description.

Based on my research, the market rate for someone with my experience doing this level of work is [range]. I'm currently at [current salary], which is [X%] below market.

I'm requesting a [specific %] increase to [new salary], which would bring me to market rate for my role and reflect the value I'm delivering."

Why this works:

Leads with value, not needs
Uses data and numbers
References market rate
Makes specific ask
Business case, not emotional plea

Part 4: Listen and Respond

They'll likely:

Say yes → Great! Get it in writing.
Say they need to think about it → Ask for timeline
Say no or not now → Ask what you need to do to get there

If they say they need to think about it:

"I understand. What timeline should I expect to hear back? And is there any additional information I can provide to help with the decision?"

If they say no:

"I appreciate you considering it. Can you help me understand what would need to happen for this to be possible? What would I need to achieve in the next 6 months to revisit this conversation?"

Real Example: Full Conversation

Context: Software engineer, been there 18 months, taken on team lead role

You:

"Thanks for meeting with me, Sarah. I wanted to discuss my compensation. I'm really excited about the direction the team is heading, especially with the new product launch, and I want to make sure my salary reflects the work I'm doing."

Manager:

"Of course. What are you thinking?"

You:

"Over the past 18 months, I've significantly expanded my role beyond the original job description. When I started, I was an IC engineer. Since then:

I've taken on tech lead responsibilities for the payment system, managing 3 engineers

I led the Q3 migration project that reduced our AWS costs by $50K/year

I built the automated testing framework that cut QA time by 60%

I've also been doing code review, architecture planning, and mentoring junior devs—all beyond my original IC role.

I've researched market rates for senior engineers with team lead responsibilities in [city]. The range is $130K-150K. I'm currently at $105K.

I'm requesting a 20% increase to $126K, which would put me at the lower end of market rate for the level of work I'm doing. Does that seem reasonable based on my contributions?"

Manager:

"I can see you've put a lot of thought into this. Let me talk to HR about budget and get back to you by end of next week."

You:

"That works. Is there any additional information I can provide to help make the case?"

Manager:

"No, this is helpful. I'll follow up next Friday."

What to Do If They Say No

Understand the "No"

Ask clarifying questions:

"Can you help me understand what would need to happen for this to be possible?"
"What would I need to achieve in the next 6 months to revisit this?"
"Is this a budget issue, or is there something about my performance I should focus on?"

Negotiate Alternatives

If salary increase isn't possible, ask for:

Set a Timeline for Follow-Up

"I understand the budget constraints. Can we revisit this conversation in [3/6 months]? I'd like to know what specific goals I should hit to make this happen."

Get it in writing if possible.

Decide If You Need to Leave

If they:

Refuse to give you a path to a raise
Make excuses repeatedly
Dismiss your contributions
Offer insulting alternatives

It might be time to look elsewhere.

But don't threaten to leave unless you mean it.

Advanced Tips

Build Your Case Over Time

Don't wait until you want a raise to start tracking achievements.

Keep a "wins" document
Update it monthly with accomplishments
Save emails with positive feedback
Track metrics that matter to the business

When raise time comes, you have 12 months of data ready.

Get an Offer (Then Decide What to Do With It)

Sometimes the best negotiating position is having options:

If you interview and get a competing offer:

Option 1: Use it to negotiate (risky if relationship matters) Option 2: Take the new job Option 3: Stay at current job (if they counter-offer)

Only mention the offer if you're genuinely willing to leave.

Frame It as a Retention Issue

Instead of: "I want more money" Frame as: "I want to stay here long-term, and I need compensation to reflect that"

"I'm committed to this team and the work we're doing. To make this a long-term fit, I need my compensation to be competitive with market rate."

This makes it about retaining you, not you being greedy.

The 4 Tests for Raise Requests

Before asking:

1. SIGNAL: Do I have a strong, data-backed case?

Achievements, market data, expanded role?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Is this good timing?

Company doing well? You recently delivered wins?

3. RISK: Am I being entitled or building a business case?

Personal needs vs. business value?

4. AFFECT: Would I give me a raise based on this case?

If you were the manager, would this be convincing?

Check Your Raise Request

Not sure if your case is strong enough?

Analyze it free with 4Angles →

Write out your case and see how it scores on:

SIGNAL (Is your case clear and specific?)
OPPORTUNITY (Are you positioned well?)
RISK (Are you making common mistakes?)
AFFECT (How will your manager feel?)

Get specific fixes before the conversation.

No signup required. Just instant communication analysis.

How to Ask for a Raise Without Sounding Entitled

The Conversation You're Afraid to Have

Common Mistakes That Kill Your Raise Request

Mistake #1: Leading With Personal Needs

Mistake #2: Threatening to Leave (Without Actually Being Willing To)

Mistake #3: Comparing Yourself to Coworkers

Mistake #4: Poor Timing

When to Ask for a Raise

You Have Leverage When:

Don't Ask When:

How to Build Your Case

Step 1: Document Your Achievements

Step 2: Research Market Rates

Step 3: Define Your Ask

The Script: How to Actually Ask

Part 1: Request the Meeting

Part 2: Opening the Conversation

Part 3: Present Your Case

Part 4: Listen and Respond

Real Example: Full Conversation

What to Do If They Say No

Understand the "No"

Negotiate Alternatives

Set a Timeline for Follow-Up

Decide If You Need to Leave

Advanced Tips

Build Your Case Over Time

Get an Offer (Then Decide What to Do With It)

Frame It as a Retention Issue

The 4 Tests for Raise Requests

1. SIGNAL: Do I have a strong, data-backed case?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Is this good timing?

3. RISK: Am I being entitled or building a business case?

4. AFFECT: Would I give me a raise based on this case?

Check Your Raise Request

Related Reading

Ready to Analyze Your Message?

How to Ask for a Raise Without Sounding Entitled

The Conversation You're Afraid to Have

Common Mistakes That Kill Your Raise Request

Mistake #1: Leading With Personal Needs

Mistake #2: Threatening to Leave (Without Actually Being Willing To)

Mistake #3: Comparing Yourself to Coworkers

Mistake #4: Poor Timing

When to Ask for a Raise

You Have Leverage When:

Don't Ask When:

How to Build Your Case

Step 1: Document Your Achievements

Step 2: Research Market Rates

Step 3: Define Your Ask

The Script: How to Actually Ask

Part 1: Request the Meeting

Part 2: Opening the Conversation

Part 3: Present Your Case

Part 4: Listen and Respond

Real Example: Full Conversation

What to Do If They Say No

Understand the "No"

Negotiate Alternatives

Set a Timeline for Follow-Up

Decide If You Need to Leave

Advanced Tips

Build Your Case Over Time

Get an Offer (Then Decide What to Do With It)

Frame It as a Retention Issue

The 4 Tests for Raise Requests

1. SIGNAL: Do I have a strong, data-backed case?

2. OPPORTUNITY: Is this good timing?

3. RISK: Am I being entitled or building a business case?

4. AFFECT: Would I give me a raise based on this case?

Check Your Raise Request

Related Reading

Ready to Analyze Your Message?