I tried everything else first.
Limited contact.
Boundaries.
"Just friends."
Closure conversations.
Nothing worked.
Then:
I went:
No contact.
Complete.
Total.
Zero.
And it saved me.
What No Contact Meant
No:
- Texts
- Calls
- Social media
- "Checking in"
- Mutual friend updates
- Looking at their profiles
- Responding to breadcrumbs
Nothing.
For the first time:
In years:
Complete silence.
Why I Resisted It
"That's Too Harsh"
I thought:
Complete cut-off:
Was mean.
But staying in contact:
While trying to heal:
Was killing me.
"We Can Be Friends"
I believed:
We could transition:
To friendship.
We couldn't.
Because:
I still loved them.
And every interaction:
Was torture.
"I Need Closure"
I thought:
One more conversation:
Would give me:
Peace.
It never did.
"What If They Change?"
I was afraid:
If I cut contact:
I'd miss them:
Coming back:
Different.
They never did.
What Happened When I Finally Did It
Week One: Withdrawal
I felt:
Like an addict:
Going through withdrawal.
Every fiber:
Wanted to:
- Text them
- Check their social media
- Reach out
- See if they missed me
I didn't.
Week Two: The Hardest Part
Something happened:
Good.
Bad.
Funny.
Random.
And my first thought:
"I need to tell them."
I couldn't.
That's when:
It hit me:
How much:
They'd been:
Woven into:
My daily life.
Week Three: Clarity
Without:
Their voice:
In my head:
I started:
Hearing:
My own.
For the first time:
In years.
Month Two: The Urge to Break It
They reached out:
"Hey. How are you?"
Every cell:
Wanted to respond.
I didn't.
Because:
I knew:
One response:
Would reset:
Everything.
Back to square one.
Month Three: Healing
I stopped:
- Thinking about them constantly
- Wondering what they were doing
- Hoping they'd reach out
- Checking their social media
- Replaying conversations
I started:
- Living my life
- Focusing on myself
- Building new connections
- Rediscovering who I was
Month Six: Freedom
They texted again:
"I miss you."
Old me:
Would've crumbled.
New me:
Deleted without responding.
Because:
I didn't miss them:
Anymore.
What No Contact Gave Me
My Power Back
Every time:
I responded to them:
I gave them:
Power over:
My emotions.
My day.
My peace.
No contact:
Took it back.
Space to Heal
You can't heal:
A wound:
You keep reopening.
Every interaction:
Was reopening it.
No contact:
Let it close.
Clarity
When you're in contact:
You see:
What you want to see.
When you're not:
You see:
Reality.
And reality:
Showed me:
They weren't good for me.
My Life Back
I'd been:
Waiting.
For them:
To text.
To change.
To come back.
No contact:
Freed me:
To stop waiting:
And start living.
Proof I Could Survive Without Them
I thought:
I needed them.
No contact proved:
I didn't.
The Rules I Followed
1. Block, Don't Just Delete
If their number:
Still works:
You'll text:
In a weak moment.
Block everything:
- Phone number
- Social media
- Mutual platforms
2. No "One Last Message"
There's no such thing.
One message:
Becomes a conversation.
Which becomes:
Back to square one.
3. No Social Media Stalking
Unfollow.
Mute.
Block if necessary.
You can't heal:
While watching:
Their life.
4. No Asking Mutual Friends About Them
Secondhand information:
Is still contact.
Ask friends:
Not to update you.
5. No Response to Breadcrumbs
They'll reach out.
"Hey"
"Thinking of you"
"How are you?"
Don't respond.
It's a test:
To see:
If you're still:
Available.
6. No "Closure" Conversations
Closure:
Doesn't come from them.
It comes from you.
Deciding:
The chapter is closed.
When People Questioned It
"That's so harsh."
Translation:
"That boundary makes me uncomfortable."
"Can't you just be friends?"
Translation:
"Why can't you just get over it?"
"What if they need you?"
Translation:
"What about their feelings?"
My answer:
"No contact isn't punishment. It's self-preservation."
The Hardest Part
Resisting:
The urge:
To break it.
When:
- Something reminded me of them
- I felt lonely
- I wanted to tell them something
- They reached out
- I wondered if they'd changed
Every time:
I wanted to break it:
I asked:
"Will this help me heal?"
The answer:
Was always no.
One Year Later
They reached out:
"Can we talk? I've changed."
Old me:
Would've said yes immediately.
New me:
Didn't even respond.
Because:
I'd changed.
And I didn't need:
To talk to them:
To know:
I was better:
Without them.
If You're Considering No Contact
Try it.
For:
30 days.
60 days.
90 days.
See how you feel.
Chances are:
You'll feel:
- Lighter
- Clearer
- Stronger
- More yourself
- Free
And you won't:
Want to go back.
What I'd Tell Someone Starting No Contact
It Will Be Hard
The first few weeks:
Are brutal.
Stay strong.
You'll Want to Break It
Multiple times.
Don't.
They'll Probably Reach Out
To see:
If you're still:
Available.
Don't respond.
You'll Start Healing
Slowly.
Then all at once.
You'll Wonder Why You Didn't Do This Sooner
Because:
You'll finally feel:
Free.
The Truth About No Contact
It's not:
Punishment.
Revenge.
Playing games.
It's:
Self-preservation.
Choosing yourself.
Creating space to heal.
And sometimes:
It's the only thing:
That works.
About 4Angles: No contact isn't cruel—it's self-preservation. You can't heal while staying connected to what hurt you. Block, don't look back, and watch yourself heal.
Last updated: November 2, 2025