Date three.
He said:
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
I thought:
"This is it. He's the one."
My friend said:
"That's love bombing."
I laughed.
I wasn't laughing:
Two months later.
What Love Bombing Looked Like
Week One:
Texting:
Constantly.
"Good morning beautiful" "Thinking of you" "Can't wait to see you" "You're amazing"
All day.
Every day.
I thought:
"He's so into me."
Week Two:
Saying:
"I've never felt this way before."
"You're different from everyone."
"I think you might be the one."
I thought:
"I've never been loved like this."
Week Three:
Wanting:
All my time.
"Can I see you tonight?" "And tomorrow?" "Actually, can we spend the whole weekend together?"
I thought:
"He can't get enough of me."
Week Four:
Talking about:
The future.
"I can see us getting married."
"Our kids would be so cute."
"I want to introduce you to my family."
WEEK FOUR.
I thought:
"This is moving fast. But when you know, you know."
The Red Flags I Ignored
1. It Was Too Much, Too Soon
We barely knew each other.
But he was:
- Saying "I love you"
- Planning our future
- Wanting all my time
- Acting like we'd been together for years
After:
Three weeks.
2. He Made Me the Center of His Universe
Immediately.
Cancelled plans with friends:
To see me.
Stopped:
Hobbies.
Activities.
Everything.
To be:
With me.
I thought:
"He really loves me."
Actually:
Red flag.
3. He Mirrored Everything I Said
Me: "I love hiking."
Him: "Me too! It's my favorite."
Me: "I want to travel more."
Him: "That's my dream too."
Me: "Family is important to me."
Him: "Same. That's so rare to find."
Every value.
Every interest.
Every goal.
"We're so compatible!"
Or:
He was becoming:
What I wanted.
4. The Compliments Were Excessive
And vague:
"You're perfect."
"You're not like other girls."
"I can't believe you're real."
Not:
"I love how you [specific thing]."
But:
Generic worship.
5. He Moved Faster Than I Was Comfortable With
And when I said:
"Can we slow down?"
He said:
"Why? When it's right, it's right. Don't you feel the same?"
Making me:
Doubt myself.
For having:
Reasonable boundaries.
When It Shifted
Week six.
I had plans:
With my friends.
Him:
"You're going out without me?"
First sign of control.
Me: "Yeah, just a girls' night."
Him: "I thought we'd spend tonight together."
Me: "We've spent every night together this week. I need friend time."
Him: "Wow. Okay. I guess I'm not important."
Guilt.
I went anyway.
He texted:
All night.
"Miss you." "Having fun without me?" "When will you be home?" "I can't sleep without you."
I came home:
To fifteen texts.
Red flag.
The Pattern After Love Bombing
Week 7-8: The Pull Back
The constant texting:
Stopped.
The compliments:
Faded.
The intensity:
Disappeared.
I panicked:
"What did I do wrong?"
Nothing.
He'd just:
Gotten me hooked.
And now:
The real person:
Was showing up.
Week 9-10: The Control
Subtle at first:
"Who's that guy who liked your photo?"
"Why didn't you text me back for an hour?"
"Your friends don't seem to like me."
Then:
Less subtle:
"I don't want you hanging out with him."
"Why do you need girls' nights?"
"Choose: me or them."
Week 11-12: The Devaluation
The person who said:
"You're perfect."
Now said:
"You're too sensitive."
"You're being dramatic."
"You're not the person I thought you were."
I tried:
To get back:
The beginning.
The love bombing phase.
It never came back.
How I Finally Saw It
My friend:
"Do you remember what you told me on week two?"
Me: "What?"
Her: "That it felt too good to be true."
Me: "Yeah."
Her: "It was."
She was right.
The Difference: Love Bombing vs. Genuine Interest
Love Bombing:
-
Too intense, too fast "I love you" within weeks
-
Over-the-top compliments "You're perfect," not specific traits
-
Mirrors you completely Suddenly shares all your interests
-
Wants all your time immediately No balance, no independence
-
Future-talks way too soon Marriage talk on date five
-
Makes you the center of their universe Drops everything and everyone
-
Feels overwhelming But you convince yourself it's "passion"
Genuine Interest:
-
Builds gradually Feelings develop over time
-
Specific compliments "I love how you think about things"
-
Interested in real you Asks questions, wants to know you
-
Respects your time Understands you have a life
-
Future develops naturally After actually knowing each other
-
Has their own life Friends, hobbies, independence
-
Feels comfortable Not overwhelming, just nice
The Purpose of Love Bombing
To:
Hook you.
Fast.
Before you:
See who they really are.
Create:
Intense attachment.
Quickly.
So when:
They start controlling:
Devaluing:
Manipulating:
You're already:
Emotionally invested.
And you'll:
Try to get back:
The beginning.
That was never real.
What I Wish I'd Done
Listened:
To my gut.
Week two:
I told my friend:
"It's moving really fast. It feels almost too good to be true."
She said:
"Then maybe it is."
I dismissed her.
I shouldn't have.
The Questions I Ask Now
When someone seems:
"Perfect":
Right away:
I ask:
"Is this too intense?"
If yes—slow down.
"Are they respecting my pace?"
If no—red flag.
"Do they have their own life?"
If no—codependency warning.
"Are they making future plans before knowing me?"
If yes—love bombing.
"Does this feel overwhelming?"
If yes—trust that.
Six Months After I Left
He texted:
"I miss you. You were the one. I messed up."
Old me:
Would've gone back.
New me:
"You love bombed me, isolated me, and controlled me. The person I fell for never existed."
Him:
"I can't believe you'd say that. I loved you."
Me:
"Love doesn't feel like that."
Blocked.
If Someone Is Love Bombing You
It feels:
Amazing.
And:
Overwhelming.
Trust:
The overwhelm.
Real love:
Builds slowly.
Respects your pace.
Doesn't rush.
Feels comfortable.
Love bombing:
Moves fast.
Ignores boundaries.
Rushes everything.
Feels intense.
Then:
Turns into:
Control.
Slow down.
If they're real:
They'll wait.
If they're love bombing:
They'll push.
That's your answer.
About 4Angles: Love bombing feels like intense love—but it's manipulation designed to hook you fast before you see who they really are. Real love builds slowly.
Last updated: November 2, 2025